Songs for Memorial Services — A Complete Guide to Choosing the Right Music

Music does something at a memorial service that nothing else can. It bypasses the part of us that is trying to hold it together and reaches straight to grief — and to love. The right song can give people permission to cry, to smile through tears, to feel less alone in their loss.

Choosing music for a memorial service is one of the most meaningful things you can do in the days after a loss. This guide is here to help you do it well.

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Why Music Matters at Memorial Services

When words fail — and they often do — music speaks. A song can:

• Capture who the person was — their faith, their spirit, their sense of humor
• Comfort people who are grieving — familiar melodies activate memory and emotion in ways that words alone cannot
• Create a shared experience — everyone in the room feels it together
• Honor specific relationships — a song that meant something to the person or to your relationship with them

There's no right or wrong choice. The goal is to choose something that feels true.

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Traditional Hymns & Classical Options

For services with religious or classical sensibilities, these are time-honored choices:

Hymns:

• Amazing Grace — Perhaps the most universally recognized funeral hymn. Works for nearly any denomination.
• How Great Thou Art — Powerful and uplifting; often preferred for those with strong faith.
• It Is Well with My Soul — Written in the aftermath of personal tragedy; deeply comforting.
• In the Garden — Gentle, intimate, often chosen for quiet, personal services.
• On Eagle's Wings — Popular in Catholic services; text drawn from Psalm 91.
• Be Thou My Vision — An ancient Irish hymn, suited for reflective services.

Classical:

• Ave Maria (Schubert or Bach/Gounod) — Transcendent and universally recognized.
• Clair de Lune (Debussy) — Soft, contemplative; works beautifully as prelude music.
• Canon in D (Pachelbel) — Familiar and deeply calming.
• Largo from New World Symphony (Dvořák) — Majestic and moving.

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Modern & Contemporary Songs

Many families prefer contemporary music that reflects the person's actual taste in life — not a formal repertoire chosen for occasions.

Widely chosen contemporary songs:

• Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Israel Kamakawiwoʻole version) — Gentle, hopeful, beloved.
• Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) — Profound and emotionally open; suits many kinds of loss.
• You Are the Sunshine of My Life (Stevie Wonder) — Warm and celebratory for someone who brought joy.
• My Way (Frank Sinatra) — For someone who lived life on their own terms.
• Time to Say Goodbye (Andrea Bocelli) — Elegant and emotionally appropriate.
• Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler) — Often chosen to honor a parent.
• What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong) — Celebrates a life well-lived.
• Bridge Over Troubled Water (Simon & Garfunkel) — Comforting and full of care.

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Choosing by Relationship

Different losses call for different music. Here are suggestions by relationship:

For a Parent

Choose songs that reflect their generation, their faith if they had one, or your relationship with them. Songs that work well:

• Wind Beneath My Wings — For a parent who quietly sacrificed
• Simple Man (Lynyrd Skynyrd) — For a father who valued integrity
• In My Daughter's Eyes (Martina McBride) — From a parent's perspective
• A custom song written specifically about them — nothing else honors a parent's specific life story the way a song written just for them can

For a Spouse or Partner

Music for a spouse should reflect the relationship — your shared history, the songs that were yours.

• At Last (Etta James) — Classic and romantic
• Can't Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley) — Gentle and timeless
• The Book of Love (Peter Gabriel version) — Beautiful and aching
• Your actual wedding song, if you had one

For a Child

This is the most difficult loss, and music should be chosen with extraordinary care.

• Blackbird (The Beatles) — Gentle and tender
• You Are My Sunshine — Especially for young children
• Somewhere (from West Side Story) — Hopeful
• A custom song that names them, tells their story, and says what needs to be said

For a Friend

• A song they loved — perhaps something unexpected or fun that captures who they were
• Don't Stop Believin' (Journey) — For someone full of spirit
• Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) (Green Day) — Captures friendship and passage of time
• Something from a band or era that was important to them

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Instrumental Options

Sometimes words are too much. Instrumental music can carry emotion without demanding a specific interpretation:

• Solo piano or acoustic guitar — Intimate, quiet, never intrusive
• String quartet — For formal or larger services
• Cello solo — Deeply moving; the cello's range is closest to the human voice
• Harp — Traditional for religious settings
• Recorded ambient/classical — Services without live musicians can use recorded instrumental pieces effectively

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Custom Memorial Songs

One option that families increasingly turn to: a song written specifically for the person who died.

A custom memorial song names them. It tells their story — the things only people who knew them would know. It can capture a parent's laugh, a spouse's kindness, a friend's particular way of showing up. It becomes something the family keeps, plays on anniversaries, shares with grandchildren who never knew them.

PraySong specializes in creating these songs. You share details about the person — their life, their personality, what they meant to you — and a real song is created in return. Several families have used these songs as the centerpiece of a memorial service, and many continue playing them years later.

This isn't for everyone, and it takes a few days to create. But if you want music that is completely, irreplaceably about the specific person you lost — this is worth considering.

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How to Choose: A Simple Checklist

When you're overwhelmed and trying to make decisions in a hard time, these questions help:

• Did this song matter to them in life?
• Does it reflect their faith (or lack thereof)?
• Will it comfort the people who are grieving?
• Is the tone right — solemn, celebratory, or both?
• Does it feel true to who they were?
• Is live music needed, or will recorded work?
• How many songs does the service need? (Typically 2–4: prelude, during, recessional)

You don't need to get it perfect. You need to get it true.

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FAQ

How many songs should a memorial service have? Most services include 2–4 songs: music playing as guests arrive (prelude), one or two songs during the service, and something as people leave (recessional). A graveside or committal may have just one song.

Should I choose songs the deceased loved, or songs that comfort the living? Both matter. The best choices do both — songs that reflect the person's life and also bring comfort to those grieving. When in doubt, prioritize honoring who they were.

Can I use popular or secular songs at a religious service? This depends on the officiant and the family's preferences. Most clergy are open to meaningful secular music alongside hymns. It's worth having a conversation rather than assuming.

What if I don't know what music they would have wanted? Talk to people who knew them well. Look at what they listened to, what played at important moments in their life. If you truly don't know, a classic hymn or instrumental piece is always appropriate.

Is live music better than recorded music at a memorial service? Live music carries more emotional weight — there's something about a real voice or instrument in the room that recorded music can't quite replicate. But recorded music is completely appropriate and often more practical. What matters is the song, not the medium.

How do I commission a custom song for a memorial? Services like PraySong allow you to submit details about the person and receive a professionally produced original song. The process typically takes a few days. It's worth starting as early as possible if you want it for the service itself.